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I don't know if I have an irrational, unfair fixation on my colleague's habit of asking me (non-trivial) questions just as I'm getting out of my seat, or it's something that would be felt by most (American) workers in an office environment.

I work in a small dev team of 2 to 4, as the unofficial lead. One of the developers is a very kind, considerate individual, soft-spoken, a bit shy. I can understand he's not totally comfortable interrupting me when I seem focused on my screen.

The thing is, literally half the time I'm getting out of my seat, he catches my eye, says, "Quick question" (though very politely), and proceeds to explain a situation to me that often requires me to look over his shoulder, sometimes navigate him on Vim, or even sit down again to open code or an email.

This has become so regular that I can't objectively judge whether his habit is completely reasonable and it's my own impatience / lack of empathy creating a fixation / an unjust pet peeve.

Would you say most people would consider catching someone as they're getting out of their seat rude in any way?

Of course my colleague doesn't mean to be rude. He's been in the country less than 5 years, and I know I can be ignorant of cultural differences. I wonder if in other cultures, it's unquestionably more considerate to catch someone as they're leaving, i.e. clearly not in the middle of something.

If I'm being unfair, what can I do to change my perception or become more receptive. If it's not unfair, how can I guide him to use a different approach without hurting his feelings?

As the lead of the team, it is part of your job to help your team mates from a technical perspective when they need guidance. ( as you well know )

Based on what I have read and perhaps implied from your question, I think what your experiencing is that your team isn't sure the best way to ask you for help, as they are trying to also minimizing the impact of you getting your tasks done.

I would suggest, if you haven't tried this already, to send an email to your team explaining what your preferred mechanism of communication is in regards to requests for assistance. This way the team knows your preference, and hopefully will respect your wishes.

I do not think this suggestion will cure all of your ailments, I do however think it will help.

To specifically answer your question, its only partially in your head. ;-)

This guy goes to much trouble not to break your flow. Probably, as he stumbles on something, he needs to fight the impulse to ask you immediately. Then he formulates the question quietly. Then he silently proceeds to other activities, while constantly monitoring if you seem busy at your computer. He also knows that e-mail/IM is not a very effective tool to explain things.

Putting away the nonconstructive question if the behavior can be judged as rude, I think it would be reasonable to agree with him (as well as others) on a visual flag. This would give you a very non-intrusive way of arranging your discussions.

• Whoever wants a discussion, raises a flag. I mean either literally a small flag or some substitute, like their tea cup placed on your desk for example.


• Once you are no longer busy with your computer you notice the flag and talk with them. Agree that you are not under obligation to react quickly or even on the same day. It's important for both sides. He will not use this mechanism if he sees it interrupts you hard each time; and hard interrupts are also bad for you.


• They can raise the flag again after 2 hours or more; tune this timeout for the best total productivity.

I'm guessing that the guy is just trying to be considerate, in a mis-guided way. As others have said, he thinks that when you get up, you are no longer focused on anything, so this is a good time for a question. Conversely, when you're sitting working, he doesn't want to bother you.

What he's missing is the fact that when you get up, it's because you need to go (perhaps urgently) somewhere else, even if it's only to the bathroom.

So, if you really do need to go somewhere else, you need to tell him this. It seems like you have difficulty cutting off his questions. That's a useful skill to develop. Here are a few ideas:

1. If you really need to go to the bathroom, grimace, cross your legs, and dance around a little. This should cause a pause in which you can say "gotta go".




2. Cut him off early. Most people start out with something like "can I ask you a quick question?". That's a good time to say "no" (nicely).




3. If he's already gotten started, and it looks like it's going to take too long, use the "time out" signal (make a "T" with your hands).




4. Point at your watch and then point out the door, towards the meeting you need to go to.




5. If you're going to a meeting, make a big production of gathering up all the things you need: pen, paper, laptop, phone. Even if you're just going out to lunch, you need car keys, phone, jacket, etc. This will make it clear that you're not just standing up, you're actually intending to go somewhere.

All the theatrics outlined above is a bit silly, really, and it might be better to just have a frank talk with the guy. Tell him that you've noticed he often asks you a question as you stand up. Tell him it's usually a bad time. The reason you stand up is because you need to go somewhere, which means you don't have time to properly answer his important question.

To answer your question ... it is not considered rude (as far as I know) to ask people questions as they stand up. This applies to all the countries I have lived in, including UK, US, Japan, China. But it's also not rude to say "good question, but now is not a good time, so let's discuss this when I get back".

He may mistakenly think it is a good time to ask as you are not in the middle of something if you are getting up.

Just say "I am heading out right now and I will get back with you when I return".