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I have been in that situation, and not only once, it is definitely an ugly decision to make.

I decided to be open with my friend, and tell him that I don't feel like recommending him as I would only recommend people that I consider to be above average, and sorry, he isn't in my eyes.

It is not necessary to word it that he is generally not above average (even if you think so), you can say 'for the specific role/position this is about'. Also, if the role/position is quite different from your own (or yet unspecific), you have the option to say you wouldn't recommend anyone for that role/position, because you are not qualified to evaluate people for such roles/positions, and the hiring manager would see your recommendation as just that - a friend recommending a friend, without real conviction of his qualities.

In addition, it is ok to forward a resume to the hiring manager 'for info' with the note that you cannot evaluate the person. If you word it right, it doesn't come over as negative recommendation either - just that you don't know how good he is.

I don’t want to be responsible if he gets the job in my company and fails as my manager would probably blame me and would likely jeopardise my position here.

If he gets the job, it won't be down to your recommendation. Recommended people still have to go through interviewing and tests etc.. If he makes it through all of these it is likely due to the hiring manager seeing something that you clearly do not. They cannot blame you when they hire someone you recommended.

That's like saying this guy is great he deserves the £60k+ p/y job and that person gets the job, that isn't how it works.

That being said:

How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?

Just tell him that your company does not do recommendations and you have to apply to roles as they are posted. This way you ensure he goes through the entire process or hiring and he can't really have an argument to it because it's just the way the company does it.

As you clarified in the comment, your company has a public portal for job applications.

Mention to your friend:

We have this job portal and we're encouraged to inform any potential employee to check for the openings and apply online. This way, the process is smoother and unbiased. I'll send you the link, please let me know if you need any help / clarification in accessing that website.

This way, it's a win-win,

• You don't need to associate yourself with the application or the recruitment process, so whatever happens with the applicant (hired or not), will not be referred back to you.


• You will have your friend also happy.

Think it in this way: Whether you like it or not, your friend can still apply and get a job in your organization from using the very same portal. in this scenario, you're the one only "providing" him/her with the info (which he/she could have anyways found if they checked the company website, maybe), so you're still in the "good-book".

reading the question it's not clear to me if the request is about a recomendation letter or a simple CV delivery.

if the latter, that's something not unusual that hiring managers are aware of.

you can take the CV saying something like:

hi hiring manager, here is another CV. please don't take this as an endorsement, it's just a friend that asked me to take the CV.

this happened to me a couple of times; not sure if can be relevant but the context is western europe

As you've pointed out in the comments of other answers, your company has a public portal for job applications but word-of-mouth and recommendations go a long ways in the application process.

"Word of mouth is very strong, and you don't need to the tests."

This complicates things, because a recommendation from you may very well lead to a hiring decision that would be blamed on you later rather than on a recruitment team.

It further complicates things because if you point him towards the application portal with the claim your company doesn't do recommendations, he may get the job through the portal and it won't take him long to learn that the company does in fact value word-of-mouth recommendations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out at that point that you never wanted to recommend him.

The best solution is to tell him you'll pass his resume along, and make it clear to your supervisor that this is a referral, not a recommendation.

something along the lines of

Hi Mr. Boss, someone I know is looking for a job... I've never worked with him as a colleague so I can't attest to whether or not he'd be a good fit here but he asked me to drop off his resume.

It's a way to keep your friend happy and make sure the hiring decision isn't based on your input.

Tell him you don't do recommendations as a general rule.

If he asks why, just say you don't like to be held responsible for other people, especially not friends.

It might be a white lie if you do in fact do recommendations but:

1. You won't damage your rep with the company because you haven't recommended him.


2. You won't damage your relation with him because you haven't made it personal.

"Friend wants my recommendation but I don't want to"
"How should I respond so that I don't hurt my job or my friendship?"

I would help your friend do some introspection, in a way that protects you and helps him take inventory of what he offers:

"Dear Enrique Iglesias, of course I am happy to help you. My company is very strict when hiring new developers, even more when they come from internal channels. The best way to make sure you make an impression is to carefully match your past work and achievements for the specific position you are looking for.
Go on our website, find the role you are interested in and then write a few examples of past achievements in those areas.
Another big requirement is teamwork: it's important for all developers to be social and involved, it's a bit of an unwritten rule. In your CV and cover letter you will also need to make examples of how you interacted with your colleague, especially beyond what was required for your main tasks.
Once we have this, I'll be happy to forward it to the hiring manager of the position you are interested in. Anything less than this won't work".

This will help your friend and protect you. All the selling is done by what he writes. Maybe just mention the hiring manager that your friend is very enthusiastic and will discuss in detail what he achieved, and how.

If he still gets hired, it means that he's either qualified, or good enough to pass the dysfunctions of the selection process.

Recommendations are not binary.

Everyone has strengths. Start by identifying your friend's. Build the basis of your recommendation around those. Everyone also has weaknesses. Friends find a way to help friends recognize and work on their weaknesses. This is the ideal time for you to step up and help your friend.

Honesty doesn't have to be brutal. Ideally, honesty will simultaneously serve the interests of you, your company, and your friend.

Let those within your company make the call based upon your balanced assessment, including both the good and the bad, reasonably and fairly presented.

As hard as it sounds but generally I recommend you to separate friendship with business.

If it is a very good friend you can help him to get a connection to your company, but you can tell your manager or the recruiter that a friend wanted you to give them his CV.
Whether he wants to or not he has to complete a job interview which he can not skip just because you are friends.

If they are satisfied with him and need someone they will offer him a job, otherwise they won't. Just that easy.